Becoming a Predator
by Wiipuu
Summary: Orihime is an innocent girl, a good girl. At least, that is what she wants everyone to believe. Fear, desire, and suppression... if you have these things then maybe a push in the wrong direction is all that's left.
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue** **: Goodbye**

Ichigo. Because I love you I will make you the last one I see. Because I love you I wont wake you. Because I love you I wont let you know.

Ichigo.

Ichigo.

...Ichigo.

I want to touch you. Do you have any idea what kind of **thoughts** run through my mind when I see you? I am more passionate than I look. I almost cant help but want to lean down and...

But I wont. I dont want to wake you. It wont fit that character I show everyone If I just did whatever I wanted. The character of a little sister. A sweet girl. You prefer a good girl. Everyone does.

My brother did.

It wont be long now though.

Ill toss my love away when I go. We will never see each other again. Its only right, you shouldn't be burdened with someone like me.

Goodbye Ichigo.

* * *

 **Chapter 1: Ulquiorra**

This man, Ulquiorra, is terrible. I would describe him as a doll. Fallowing him down the halls of this white expanse of a palace isn't fun. But he is somewhat interesting to watch. Ahh... I have never been able to control my thoughts have I? A natural pervert. His eyes chill me in a strange way. His hair looks soft, I like to imagine what its like to pull it.

But I wont. That would be sick. That would make me look less like the "little girl" he thinks I am. I dont really care what he thinks to be honest but, I am used to acting a certain way. Ill shiver in 'fear' when he reaches out to touch me. Ill flush in 'rage' when he try's to control me. Ill submit because that is the easy path.

Still, I dont feel anything for this man really. Not like ichigo. I am just a pervert.

He sure is nice to look at. I bring my hand up to my mouth and bite my nails. The longer I watch him the harder I bite.

I am such a **monster.**

As he turns he says in that sultry monotone voice, "We are here." Inwardly I sigh and wonder what it would be like to hear his voice shake. Outwardly I look resolute, barely containing fear.

* * *

 **Chapter 2: Aizen**

So this is Aizen. What a terrifying man. I would describe him as devilish. Sexy. His eyes dont run up and down my body like I want them to. To bad. It would be better for me to be afraid. Its easy to look afraid though because I am. He would kill me. I can see it. He also wants to use me. Which turns me on in a way but also disgusts me. He looks at me like he knows what I am thinking.

I doubt that. His tone says that he knows I am a afraid. That is all he knows. Good.

Oh how I would like a way to tie him to a bed and force him down.

...did I just seriously think that?

 **Sick.**

I wonder what type of girl he prefers. Probably a good girl.

Actually, maybe a man like this is a pervert like me. He got pretty close, smelling my hair, touching my skin.

It would be bad to indulge but I want to inhale him.

He tells me all my friends are dead.

I don't believe him. So I may as well pretend I do.

I cry.

He seems to be entertained by this. What a sadist. I want to...

I better stop thinking that train of thought.

Actually... now that I think about it... why am I holding back anymore? Who am I trying to impress? What do I care if these people think I am innocent? I watch as he turns around. I mean really watch. His hair his looks like it would be fun to twirl around. His skin looks like it would mark nicely. So perfect.

Not that I would know. I am in a way 'innocent'. I just happen to be imaginative in all the wrong ways.

I felt my face relax into an expression I never showed in public. I know this face. I never seen it personally but I know its dirty. The smile creeping up on my tear stained cheeks must be unnatural.

Hah. Its kinda comical really. I wonder if I should try it...

Doing what I want.

I walk a few steps forward toward Aizen.

I wonder if I should do it.

Touch him.

Just a little.

Nothing dirty.

I reach my hand forward a bit. You know I feel kinda mystified I think? But before I can reach him I am stopped by a set of eyes.

Ulquiorra.

He is watching me in a curious way. A dangerous way. A way that says "Take another step and you will die". Instantly the spell breaks and I fall back into the act. My face clenches up in mock fear. I hold my hands together and bring them to the center of my chest like a prayer.

I guess old habits die hard.

Aizen leaves through the hole he made. I am alone with those eyes now. I inwardly sigh. I guess I better say something.

"Y-your not going to fallow him?"

He is so fast in an instant Ulquiorra is in front of me leveling his face with my own.

"What were you thinking of doing.", He asks carefully.

"I... I was just going to ask where he was going."

He tilts his head a bit and examines my eyes. We stand like this for several moments before he pulls away.

"You are lying." he concludes.

Well... he isn't wrong.

"No.. I really..."

He grabs my dress and tosses me into a pillar. Ow. When I look up and see him standing above me.

"You have been lying this whole time. Fooling everyone. What are you really thinking?"

I have to think of something.

"I was thinking that... I was..."

He hits me hard in the stomach, I start hacking up . Looking up at his eyes I began to feel enraged. Fine. I give him my bright and innocent smile and say in the sweetest voice I had...

"I was thinking about touching him. Just a little."

Ulquiorra doesn't react. He doesn't say anything. He just gets really still. I let out a harsh laugh and let my face rest into a more comfortable expression.

"Whats the matter Ulquiorra? Did I say something weird?"

He blinks then says, "What do you mean 'touching him'? Did you try to attack him?"

I felt my sweet expression twist. Its so weird acting this way.

"No, did I look that stupid to you? I wanted to run my hand up his back or maybe I wanted to trace the muscles on his arms. I don't know, I didn't get to try."

The silence afterward is awkward. But frankly I feel relieved. So I get up and examine Ulquiorra.

He doesn't move. I don't think he understands; that's ok. I wonder... heheh. This question I am about to ask is pretty bold I think so... Why not?

"Ulquiorra... can I experiment with you?"

He goes stiff again and backs away from me. Oh did he find that disgusting? Heheh.. HAHAHA.

"What do you mean by that..." He asks.

Tch. Maybe he is a virgin... so am I but... Oh I get it. He probably actually a good boy. The real deal.

"I mean that I want to try out different ways of touching you."

"You mean like how you were going to touch Aizen..."

I get close and smell him. Oh he smells wonderful, clean...

"Yea... like that."

He thinks about it then says "Ok?"

He really doesn't get it? I wonder if he will get it after I run my fingers up his stomach. He doesn't react.

"That's it?" he says.

Shit. Ok... You know what? I am going to lick him. I gently push him into a near by wall and lean over to whisper in his ear like I am telling him a dirty little secret.

"You have no idea what I mean by 'touching' do you?"

Gently I began to trace his one of his ears with the tip of my tongue before nibbling its lobe. I wonder if they are sensitive? I wait for him to react. He doesn't move, his breathing doesn't change. Nothing. I look at his face and it appears unchanged.

There must be something wrong with him. Maybe I am not his type? Or maybe...

"Are you gay?"

His lips tip into a small smile before he leans forward. Close enough that our noses touch. The air feels like its changed somehow after that. He looks me in the eyes and whispers "No." then he leans a bit more in and gets close to my ear, in way mimicking my motions before and says, "But I think I understand now what you meant when you said you wanted to experiment with me."

He then harshly pushes me away.

"I see my initial assessment of your personality was wrong Inoue. I have some advice, Lord Aizen is not someone you want to play with. So don't try to "touch" him. I wont stop you, but I doubt you want to become useless. If you become useless you will die."

I look at him a bit processing what he said before asking "So I can use you then?"

And for the first time he really smiled. I mean really smiled. It was kinda creepy.

"No." he said delicately before walking away and dispersing into nothing.

Well there goes my confidence as a woman. Son of a bitch. I am going to **rape** him.

Oh god I am so fucked up.


	2. Chapter 2

_(I should warn you guys, I havent watched bleach in years. I dont think I will get everything that happened during this arc accurate. I wont even try to. Hope you can enjoy the story anyway.)_

 **Chapter 3: Grimmjow**

I am currently sitting in my room clutching my pillow. It was hard finding my own room. I waited for someone to come for me after Ulquiorra left but no one did. That was strange. Usually I am never by myself. In a way I feel somewhat disappointed. I guess maybe I should have kept myself... to myself. Maybe he thought I wasnt worth watching anymore because I... Because I am disgusting.

But I barely did anything. He cant really know me...

Maybe someone like me isnt worth anything to anyone. Maybe someone like me makes even monsters sick. I get up and look at the crescent moon through my window and... well, at least they still think I am worth something. I will always have them, my friends.

Ichigo.

I gently place my hand on my heart and smile. Then my thoughts darkly twist again. I am going to use Ulquiorra. How dare he think of me as less of a person. He is a murderer. A monster. He cant judge me like this.

Maybe I am overreacting? It doesnt matter.

I will find a way to do it. Ill will learn more about the people here. Maybe if I ask nicely enough someone will consider talking to me.

My stomach growls. I think I am going to have to find my own food today. It might even be a good opportunity.

So I get up and push my door open. Its strange that it isnt locked. I am not going to contemplate what that means. I need to find a place to eat. Do they even eat here? I wonder the halls for a while before I run into a familiar face. I am almost happy that its him.

That blue haired man is called Grimmjow I think. He is a wild kind of handsome. The kind that makes you want to lick the sweat off his chest. Doesnt this guy hate Ulquiorra? My eyes run from his face down to his toes and back up again... he is really attractive.

He soon notices me as I draw in a bit closer. He talks to me in that harsh gangster like way he has about him with a wry smirk playing on his lips.

"Hey there princess, who let you out of your cage?"

I stop instantly taking on the persona of a small animal confronting a larger beast.

"H-hello I.. I am hungry. Could you help me please?"

He lifts a brow.

"Why would I do that?"

Gently I ask something different.

"I dont know where I am.. Could you point the way please..."

He turns and sighs deeply.

"Nah, you would definitely get lost. You really shouldn't even be walking around here by yourself. Tch, not that I care but... Heh. Whatever..."

Then he started walking away. It was a slow walk, a motion that I could easily keep up with. Its obvious he wants me to fallow him. This guy is kinder than he looks. So I walked with him a bit. Something about his saunter makes me think he has something to say. I am not wrong, he eventually begins talking again.

"You should hate everyone here. But here you are wondering the halls of your own will, talking to a creature like me. I can only guess something about you has changed or..." He turns his head over his shoulder and says with a vicious grin "Or you were never what you looked to be in the first place."

I think my heart stopped. There is no way this guy is that perceptive. We had only spoken for a few moments. I didn't reveal anything. I know I didn't. He turns away and laughs before continuing.

"The look on your face says I hit some kind of mark. I wonder which one it was. Well... I guess It doesn't matter and I dont really care. I do know where they keep the food in this place. I guess Ill feed ya. Its not like I have anything better to do right now anyway."

We walk the rest of the way in silence.

When we got there I didn't expect Grimmjow to stay with me as I ate. He sat across from me with his chin resting on his hand. His gaze looking off into nowhere. I studied the shape of his eyes and the line of his jaw. He is really handsome. Like a breath of fresh air? A cool breeze. Eventually his eyes turn to mine. They seem curious.

"What are ya staring at me for?"

Before I can think to stop myself I say "You are very handsome."

He lifts his chin off his hand and faces me. His eyes are wide and surprised.

"Really huh? That's nice to know I guess."

After a moment he breaks into a large smile then reaches over and grabs an apple off my plate.

"You are a weird woman you know that?"

As I watch him slowly chew the apple a question bubbles up from my thoughts.

"You can eat food?"

He laughs a bit before answering me with some snark in his tone.

"Yea, I can eat. Doesnt do anything for me but I can eat."

He then stiffens and his face becomes more vicious as he looks at something coming down the hall.

"Whats the matter?" I ask.

Soon I hear foot steps. It was Ulquiorra. He continued forward past me. He said nothing. Completely ignoring me as he passes and disappears around the corner.

"Bastard." I heard Grimmjow say in a low growl.

I look at the empty air he left behind and I began to feel offended myself. Its odd for me to feel this way. I begin tapping my fingers on the table and think...

"I am going to eat him alive."

Very slowly Grimmjow looks at me. I realize that I must have said that out loud. I wonder what he must be thinking? I see his face break into that smile again, the cruel kind full of teeth. He reaches his hand forward and pokes my forehead.

"You know what woman? You have the eyes of a predator."

I blink and realize something else. My act fell again. I suddenly get really scared and I dont know why. I shouldn't be. Maybe its because something about this guy is honest. It could be because something about him is familiar. It shouldn't be that way though. I have only been around him for a short time. He must think I am disgusting. Nothing he thinks should matter. I dont know him. But still I... for some reason I...

"What are you so afraid of?" he asks - his eyes taking on a taunting gleam.

"I... I..."

He snorts and continues,"I dont think should worry about anything but yourself woman. Ill let you in on a little secret..."

He backs away and gets comfortable.

"I do not care."

Suddenly, I felt very warm. I do not know why. I notice him waiting for me to say something. Gently I begin to talk again.

"Its just that... I have always been a freak. People like me? Where I come from go on some kind of list. They get singled out. They are disgusting. They cant have friends, no one loves them. People are afraid of them."

I want to cry but I dont because when I look at his face it appears bored. It could be because he is a monster but, I think its more like this is just how he is. Something about that makes me happy.

"Tch, who cares about that shit. You should just do what you want. You wana kill people or something? You the fighting type? I would take you on but you dont look like much."

I become confused then I start laughing. Its a genuine laugh. I havent felt this way in a long time.

"No. I am just a pervert."

His face turns and twists into many different expressions then he starts laughing with me. Its a powerful laugh, a crazed laugh, an honest laugh. After some time he gets up and starts walking. I have to quickly get up so I am not left behind. This walk is more comfortable than the last and after some time he says something random and teasing.

"So you want to 'eat' Ulquiorra huh? Cant say you have good taste in men. I doubt he would be interested. "

I feel my face heat up. I forgot he heard that. I am so embarrassed. I think of a million excuses but I decide to be honest instead.

 _"I dont care if he is interested or not."_

Grimmjow stops, it is then I realize he walked me back to my room. I look back at him and he appears normal. Unchanged.

"You and me woman, in a way we arnt so different." He says before leaving me.

I open the door and walk back to my bed and think that tomorrow, I will try and get the layout of this palace down. I have to deal with Ulquiorra my way. I have seen the way Grimmjow deals with his lust for battle. He seems happy and self assured. Maybe its wrong to use a murderer as an example. But I... what am I trying to prove in a place like this? Grimmjow is right, I should just do what I want.

 **Maybe I can be happy to?**


	3. Chapter 3

_If you are one of those people who need music, I listen to 'Donkey Town' by Dr. Steel when I write these things._

 **Chapter 4: O**

I do not know how many days have passed since I have been free to roam the premises but, I have come to understand that Ill never really know my way around this place. I know the general direction of places and the corners Grimmjow usually likes to loiter but thats it. I have tried to find information on Ulquiorra but nearly all of the higher numbered Espada are impossible to find and the other arrancar... they stay away. They are scared of me for some reason.

I can pester Grimmjow for information but, in his own words, he knows 'jack shit about that son of a bitch'.

I guess its obvious that I have gotten closer to Grimmjow. I am not really sure how it happened, we just kept running into each other. There was no rhyme or reason to it. I do not know what I think of him. I think that maybe he is a friend? Or maybe he is just fun to be around? Anyway, I am going to go see him again, he tells me Aizen is having a meeting with the ranked Espada. He said that he is going to take me there. That concerns me. He really just does whatever he wants. I have to talk to him about this.

BANG!

My door is violently kicked open. The loud noise it makes causes me to flinch.

"Hey there woman, time to go. You better be ready." Grimmjow shouts.

I look at him and steel myself, ready to confront his brash nature. Before I could though, I am tugged off the bed and dragged out. He is rough with me.

"Grimmjow, please wait?"

He ignores me and continues to pull.

"Grimmjow?"

Wait... I do not think he is ignoring me. He seems to be lost in thought. Now, I am not an aggressive person but, I need to get his attention. So I deal with him my way. When he stops in front of a large door I bring the hand he has holding my own to my mouth and run my tongue along its knuckles. They taste faintly like blood. There is a risk in doing things like this to him but I find myself doing it anyway. Its the only thing I can do and the only thing this man really understands is aggression. The reactions he has are instantaneous.

He tends to respond in stages.

First is surprise. He gets stiff and stops breathing.

Next is a flash of anger. He quickly jerks his hand away and grimaces.

Then there is confusion. At this stage he just stares at me.

And finally - acceptance. He comes to some kind of understanding and regains his composure. You can see the cogs turn in his head and all you have to worry about is what they manifest. He likes to react in unexpected ways at this point. That would be the risk I spoke of before. It could be nothing. I think he does it mostly to get back at me.

His eyes hone in on mine. They become playful... sharp. The worst look he can have is playful. He isn't the type that plays nice. He walks up to me and traps me between the door and himself slamming his hands hard and flat on it; caging me in. He then leans down and gets in my face and breathes out. His breath smells like raw meat and death. Knowing what he is you can guess its because he ate something alive. I might be smelling a dead person. I shiver.

Sometimes I forget what he is.

"What?" he asks. His voice terse and dripping with violence.

I steady myself with a deep breath. I cant be intimidated or I will get no where with him.

"Whats wrong with you?" I ask.

He smirks, letting out a cruel laugh. "I hate everyone here. They tell me what to do and I want to kill them for it. But I do not have enough power. Me! I cant hack it! So I drag you along everywhere even if I dont feel like doing shit!"

I let what he said sink in. I half believe it. Carefully I reach forward and touch his hair, my fingers spreading across his scalp. His hair is soft and thick. He goes stiff again after I do this. I take the chance to clutch it, my fingers curling tightly in his locks. His expression changes to that of pain, his eye lids clenching shut. I tug his face away from mine and he lets out a restrained sound that could be taken any number of ways.

I do not know how I am getting away with this. I look at him for a moment. His eyes open back up to meet mine. They look fierce, full of barely contained insanity. His fingers dig into the door behind me and break through with a loud crack. Is he letting me take advantage of him? I am not strong enough to reject the opportunity. I lean forward near his jugular and breathe in. He smells musky mixed in with a faint touch of iron. The door behind me cracks a little more and a shiver runs through his body.

"You are going to make me angry." his voice rasps.

"You are already angry." I respond.

He laughs again, all teeth, then removes one of his hands from the door. It snaps a little more and pieces of it hit the floor. He then reaches up and grabs my hand, His fingers digging into it deep enough to draw blood. I end up letting go of his hair because of the pain.

"You're getting bold. Finally accepting what you are huh?"

He pulls my hand away from his hair and brings it to his mouth. He flicks his tongue out and licks the blood off it. I don't pull away but I am surprised. He lets go and my hand slides out of his. Then after a few more seconds he takes a few steps back and moves away from me.

"What? Didnt think I would bite back? We are both predators. " He says this like its the joke of the century."We are restrained monsters caged and pissed off."

I flinch when he says the word 'monster'.

His eyes become more fiery and he starts pacing left and right. Then he takes a deep breath and returns to his normal attitude.

"Come on, lets go to Aizens meeting before they take off." He suddenly says.

Quickly I question him before he starts dragging me again.

"Why are you taking me with you?"

"Because you want to find Ulquiorra right? He is going to be there." He answers.

"What do you mean by that? Why would you help me?"

He smirks and says "Why not? I want to see what your going to do."

I think about what he says for a minute then say "So you want to watch?"

He chokes on air.

* * *

 **Chapter 5: Or**

It was strange. Grimmjow opened the doors and entered like he owned the place. Though to be fare, thats how he enters every room. Aizen was nowhere, a lot of the Espada were not there. Only a few of the chairs were filled. When I saw Ulquiorra something visceral began to bubble up inside. It had been so long. It wasnt like this before. It must be because I rarely see him now. I felt something inside me burn... It must be because...

Suddenly someones breath caress's my ear, interrupting my thoughts. Grimmjow's voice soon came as a whisper. "Its because you want revenge. Because he makes you sick. Because he is an arrogant piece of shit that thinks of you as less than dirt." I turned and looked him in the eyes, they were filled with mirth and hunger.

"Grimmjow? Showing up now?" One of the Espada said, he had pink hair. Another fallowed up with, "So what." and another, one with a mask, responded with "I am surprised he showed up at all."

Grimmjow simply pulled away from me and continued to stomp forward to his chair. The air around him was chilling. He really didn't like these people, I can tell. He sat down, his body language arrogant and dangerous, and placed a foot on the table. It made a audible 'thump' when it hit it.

The Espada with brown hair who appeared to be sleeping woke up because of the noise. "Grimmjow? You know you missed the meeting? It ended an hour ago."

Grimmjow sneered. "Like you give a shit Stark."

The man, Stark, smiled warmly. "I am guessing you are here for another reason then. It cant be to discuss with the rest of us."

Grimmjow flashed his eyes in my direction then he leaned into his chair a bit more deeply. "Your right. Its none of your business though." Then he lifted up one of his hands and pointed a finger at me, turning it in away that suggests I come to him. After I get close enough he pulls out a near by chair and roughly shoves me into it.

The others continue talking among themselves about something I didn't really understand. Ulquiorra appeared unfazed and unaware of his surroundings and soon he gets up to leave. Grimmjow quickly takes a tea cup off the table and chucks it at his head. Ulquiorra moves out of the way and tilts his head, taking notice of Grimmjow for the first time since we came. Grimmjows face is like that of a beast. The room goes quiet.

"Is there something you want Grimmjow?" Ulquiorra asks

"Not really." He says sardonically.

Ulquiorra doesnt react, he just turns around and continues walking as if nothing happened.

"Im curious Ulquiorra." He continues. Ulquiorras hand stops on the door, not pushing it. "Why did ya abandon the woman? Anything can happen in these halls, I thought Aizen wanted her alive."

Ulquiorra turns around and faces him completely. His green eyes dull and emotionless. "Because I came to the conclusion that she can take care of herself. She wont run, watching her is a waste of time."

My body started to burn again.

"She's a waste huh?" Grimmjow says, his face lighting up as his body released a laugh that echoed through out the room. I slowly stand and get out of my chair, my motions felt uncontrolled. Grimmjow stops laughing as he turns to watch me move. He keeps a smile on his face though. He had a look to him behind that smile, behind his eyes, a look that couldn't really be described.

Carefully I made my way to Ulquiorra. I met his eyes with my own when they turned my way. He just watched me come for him, uncaring. When I reach him I quickly grab the collar of his jacket and try to pull him down to my level. He doesn't resist but he doesn't move either. Its like tugging at something fixed to a wall. But I dont stop. I keep pulling and I hear something begin to come apart, his clothing is ripping. So I tear a piece off. Then I reach forward behind his neck and place my hand on it, digging my nails into his skin.

He still wont react. Ill make him react. I wont let him treat me this way.

That burning sensation intensifies. I feel power coursing through me as I reject his own power. Slowly his head starts to move toward mine as I somehow force him down. His eyes light up somewhat even though his face stays the same, he must be analyzing something. I dont care. Eventually, when he gets close enough, I lean forward and bite his lower lip hard. He lets out a small noise. Then I lick them. After this I slip away and slap him with all my might. His head jolts slightly to the side on impact. His eyes turn to mine and he licks the cut I made on his lip.

I soon become vaguely aware that Grimmjow is laughing again in the background as reality starts to set in.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 6: Paper Cut**

What did I just do? Oh god what did I just do? I just... in front of so many people. I need to get away. I need to run. I need to hide. I look back at Ulquiorra again, then I look at the people behind me. They look like a blur. Suddenly this place doesnt feel real. Grimmjow. I need to find Grimmjow. He doesnt care. He is a monster to. They are all monsters. I dont want to be seen as less of a person.

What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?

Ulquiorra must be judging me, he has to be. I dont care. I shouldnt care anymore. What did I just do? Where am I? Grimmjows laughter. Ulquiorra's eyes. Where do I go? Someone tell me what to do. Please.

I am afraid. I am afraid. I am afraid.

Suddenly Ulquiorra moves forward, whats he going to say? He never reacts. Whats he planning to do? I dont care if he hurts me, just dont call me disgusting please. Please. Why do I care?

He picks his hand up and reaches out to me, like he wants to touch something. I take a step back, dont touch me. Dont see me.

"Is that all there is?"

His voice seems to mix with Grimmjows laughter. Contrasting its hot, wild, and uncontrolable sound with cold calculation.

"What?" I manage to dig out.

Grimmjows laughter suddenly ceases.

Ulquiorra's hand drops to my chest. Not touching it, just pointing at it.

"I remember that there was more. At least thats what you claimed."

I start to breathe harder. I can hear the sound of someones footsteps.

"I... I am... I..."

Why cant I get a word out. Suddenly I feel someones hands on my shoulders. The hands are big and warm. They are comforting. I hear someone behind me connected to those hands, Grimmjow. When did he get there? His voice comes out as kind, as gentle, almost brotherly.

"Calm down."

Instantly it feels like my feet are grounded again. The room stops suffocating me.

"Dont be afraid of who you are."

My breathing evens out.

Then I feel his hands glide down my arms sliding around my waist as he pulls me closer. His face falls down and rests on my left shoulder. Despite this intimate motion the air changes from comforting to sharp as his voice seems to twist mockingly.

"You should just do whatever the fuck you want."

I should just do whatever I **want?** What he says seems to spread through my body like a poison. Chilling me.

I look back at Ulquiorra. What is he thinking? I can not tell. His hand is unmoved, he resembles a statue. He doesn't look at Grimmjow or even seem to notice he appeared at all. What about the other Espada? I hear someone whispering but all I can make out is a faint chuckle and someone saying "Its like a drama?" and then a harsh "shhhhh" fallowed by a slap.

"Is that all there is?" Ulquiorra repeats this like a machine.

I find myself focusing on his hand, it is so close. I move my hand forward to touch it. Bit by bit I move my hand. Its like moving through mud.

Is that all there is? No. I am more than that. I want to respond to his question so badly but I don't. I have to touch him. But before I can reach him I felt one of the hands holding me move away from my waist and snap onto my wrist. It clenched it hard, so hard I gasped.

"Grimmjow?" I questioned.

He chuckled darkly - almost seductively - and said, "You shouldn't play with your food. All you need to do is rip it apart and eat it."

The hand that was pointing at me slowly falls. I felt like I just lost something as I watched it drop. Then Ulquiorra leaned down so close all I could see was his eyes, they seemed to take on a new look despite the fact that they looked unchanged. There was just something about the way they shined.

"Little girl, why do you want to hunt me? What makes you think you can?"

Ulquiorras breath smelled like sweet tea. I breathed it in and sighed. It felt cleansing.

I want to reach out, I want to touch him but when I try to pull away from the arms around me they tighten painfully. Restricting me.

"I see that I have miscalculated my reassessment of her." He began coolly, his eyes finally looking at the man behind me."Ill take my duties more seriously for now on Grimmjow."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Grimmjow asked, quick and sharp.

Ulquiorra straitened up and ignored the question. He glanced at me one more time before turning around and leaving the room. We stared at the door in front of us for a few more seconds. And soon, I felt the hands around me slide away and the warmth on my back dissipate.

* * *

 **Chapter 7: More**

The walk back to my room was awkward. Grimmjow was strangely quiet. I have questions for him. I never seen him act that way before, He was... different. What is it? What was different about him? I have to ask but what do I ask? What do I say?

"Grimmjow..."

He looks at me, its the same childish look he always wears. Was it just my imagination? No I dont think it is.

"Grimmjow..."

His face turns a little guilty. Its a weird look on him. I have never seen it before. It makes him look younger. It quickly changes and he speeds up walking a few more feet in front of me. This almost makes me laugh...

"Are you running from me?" I ask

"Ye-no." he says quickly.

His answer kind of shocked me. It was really unexpected. I watch as he turns, walks up to the nearest wall, then hits his head on it.

"What are you doing?" I ask cautiously.

"Just wishing you knew how to fight." He answers, his forehead staying planted on the wall.

"Why?"

"Because then I can blow off this excess steam I have."

"You can fight one of the Espada cant you?"

He hesitates before answering me; turning his head to look me in the eyes. "I dont want to fight them. You are my problem. A problem I dont know how to deal with."

I am confused.

"Are you mad at me for some reason?"

He rolls his eyes then push's off the wall. "Naah... Not mad, I just have a problem. A problem I didnt know I had till today." He sighs then scratches the back of his head. "Why do you have to be so weak, I could solve it easy if I had an excuse to kill ya."

"You want to kill me?" I ask tentatively.

He chuckles a little his face turning into something twisted. "I want to kill a lot of things. But I want to do a bit more to you."

He is changing again, his face is predatory. He usually looks this way when talking about Ichigo.

"I dont really understand you Grimmjow."

"My problem is that I get you. I get you so well It makes me sick..." He then moves to lounge on the wall looking every bit like a big dangerous cat. He expression is bitter somehow. "Our natures are the same, we just eat differently. You are starved, I can tell. Like a carnivore that was forced to eat vegetables since birth. I recognize the look. Its pitiful. You should have just focused on feeding yourself instead of making it weird. You dont need anything else."

"...What exactly are we talking about?" I say.

"I dont know." He answers, his face contorting into one of deep thought. "...Why dont I feed ya?"

"But Im not hungry..." I respond. He is making me uncomfortable. His eyes are different, beastly. Arousing.

"God damn your stupid. You cant tell when a guy is offering to sleep with ya?"

I take a moment to let what he said sink in. Over a thousand different and terrible thoughts run through my head. He looks like he can see them all, his face pulling into the most indecent smile I have ever seen. I can feel my pulse beating under my skin as my blood rushes to my face, burning behind my ears. I breathe in then I breathe out in an attempt to calm myself.

He chuckles and licks the tip of his thumb with his tongue. "Your basically emaciated. Let me help ya."

After one more deep breath I manage to clear the fog in my mind enough to say something rational.

"I dont think that would be a good idea... I dont want to use you."

He looks shocked. It takes him a second to respond.

"What the hell?"

"I.. I know you. Its wrong."

"Wrong? So you wont do it cause you know me? Thats actually kind of hilarious."

"I am a monster. A pervert."

"Yea, so what? I am a monster to."

"But thats not all I am."

Something about that makes him angry. He slams the side of his fist into the wall. It makes a large dent.

"Is that right?" He says, his tone cruel. Almost a growl.

"I think there is more to you to. So I wont do it."

He breaks into a dark laugh, it echoes through the empty hall.

"More to me huh? I guess you would know wouldnt ya?"

We enter a staring match after this. He is scary when he wants to be, Ill give him that. I decided that maybe I can compromise?

"You want to stay the night then?"

"What?" He looks genuinely surprised.

"Just sleep, thats all."

"In your little bed? Fuck that."

"What are you talking about? I thought you wanted to get into my bed."

He tilts his head and arrogantly smiles. "I wasn't planning on sleeping in it."

Where is this coming from? He was never like this before. Talk about laying it on thick. I let out a small cough before responding.

"Fine then. Ill sleep in your room."

"What are..." He stops and thinks about it... "What the hell. Why not? Its a fucking mess though. Blood on the walls, torn up sheets."

"What do you mean bloo-" I am unable to finish that sentence. How can anyone sleep in a room like that. He has to be lying to me.

"Sure, lets do it."

He grabs my hand and drags me away. We were practically sprinting. It was hard to keep up. Every turn felt like it was giving me whiplash. We finally came to his door, it looked a lot like mine except broken. The hinges were holding on by a thread, cracks ran all through the wood. It wasn't really a door anymore, and after he kicked it open I doubt it could ever function as a door again.

Privacy must mean nothing to him. He let go and fell on top of his bed like a log. It was a huge bed, with torn up feather pillows. It looked mangled. Like it came out of a dumpster. The room was dark, he didnt bother to turn the lights on, but you can see and smell what the brown stains on the walls were. The room was like something out of a horror movie.

It was terrifying. A real beasts den. The kind of place no one can enter and expect to come out alive. I should have known better. I took an unconscious step back.

"Where you going Orihime?" He mumbled, it almost sounded like a threat.

"Nowhere."

"Heh. Is that so?" His eyes mocked me.

I know him. Ill be ok. Ill be ok. If I leave I know I probably wont be ok. I steel myself and walk up to the bed slowly crawling on to it. I laid down trying my hardest not to make any noise. His bed was just so squeaky. I try my best to get comfortable.

"What happened in here."

"I got hungry." He answered. " I got bored." He continued. "Some of the Arrancar around here get bored to, and they like to come to me for some fun. So I tear them apart. Its a game we like to play here." He finished.

"I see..."

The night went on. This is my first night sleeping next to another man. He is a... a man I guess? He is a good looking man and the more I get to know him the more I see why I should keep my hands to myself. But some... there are somethings I cant control. Because I am a woman and a pervert. Because I cant help that even in a situation like this, in a room that smells like death, I find myself watching the way his body moves in the moon light.

That naughty little voice of mine tells me I can touch him. Just to run my fingers along his toned body and search every corner for the places that make him squirm. I cant stop my eyes from roaming up and down his form. It would be his fault for dressing the way he does. He is getting closer and I dont move away. Its like I am hypnotized.

After he gets close enough I look at his face. His eyes catch the moon light in a way that gives them an eerie blue luminescence.

"Whats the matter?" He asks, his voice is husky. I know he is saying it that way on purpose. He knows what I am and he is being a bastard.

"Nothing." I reply

"Really? ...You know you can touch me right? Ill let ya do it."

He is teasing me. I know he is.

"Stop that. I know you don't really like to be touched that way."

"You got me wrong. I dont liked to be forced, there is a difference."

He then reaches down and grabs my hand placing it on his stomach just above the hole going through his body. It was warm. His hand slips away from mine while I stay frozen in place. I look back up at his face. He is trying to tempt me.

"Grimmjow..." I warn.

He chuckles deep in his chest. It wasnt a pleasant sound. It was very unclean.

"Just do what you want."

"I think I want to sleep Grimmjow."

"Oh really? Then go to sleep." He said this like he was daring me to try.

"I will." I defiantly answer.

He chuckles again.

"You haven't moved your hand yet. You planning to sleep like that?"

I flush and scowl. Fine. Just fine. I move closer, sliding my hand over along his body slowly. Sensually. He lets out a short shaky breath of surprise. I guess he didnt really expect me to do anything. I moved my fingers around the abdominal muscles to his back. After this I placed my hand flat and pulled myself flush against him. Then I move up a bit and get in his face; pausing to get a look at it. His smirking face is gone and replaced with something that looks dangerous.

Something that doesnt have a lot of control.

As I continued to stare he ran his tongue across his lower lip. Its a quick motion that I would have missed if I wasn't so close.

"We are both predators Orihime." His voice was deep and a little heated. The smell of blood on his breath hits my face and wakes me up a bit.

I gather my courage and say what I have to say.

"We are going to sleep."

He doesnt respond, he just keeps watching me with those unsettling eyes. I moved my head and laid down on his arm, closing my eyes - breaking contact with his. I kept myself wrapped around his body though. I dont want to move. Something tells me I shouldn't. A survival instinct I guess.

I eventually felt him relax and curl his free arm around me. It was warm in his arms. I remember thinking before I managed to sleep that I am never doing this again. This was a terrible idea. I am an idiot.


	5. Chapter 5

I actually started to like this story. At first it was just me wanting uhh... anyway, I started to like it. Its still a Ulquiorra story. Seriously it is. Im going to make as side story after its over with a alternate Grimmjow ending. OH MAN. WTF. Why am I writing this story? I hate triangles. Actually, when ichigo turns up it will become a square. WHY AM I WRITING THIS. OH fuck that. I go back and fix my bad writing after I post, I know, doesnt make any sense. So hold off an hour after I post if you want something legible. LOL I SUCK

 _I was listening to 'South Side' by Triathalon. Just in case you need some tunes. Kinda fluffed up my horror story. Bad choice on my part._

 **Chapter 8: Grease**

The lights were on. I woke up smothered underneath his body. It wasn't **sexual** , he had just rolled his body over me. His body is heavy, his body is hot, this bed is poking into my back, and I want to leave. The position isn't terrible, its just suffocating. In other words... terrible. So I decided I needed out regardless of the consequences that may occur when waking this sleeping man. This is a - oh man he is heavy - seemingly insurmountable task. My hands are slipping, he is sweaty. That is... not ok. He is unpleasant. Maybe I should hit him, maybe I should used my powers to 'reject' him. No... I don't think that would work. To strong, to sweaty.

Its so hot.

Ill ask him nicely. "Please get off."

... He isn't moving.

"Grimmjow, please..." I say a little louder.

There is no reaction. I start to wiggle, it seems the more I struggle the heavier he gets. Almost like he is pushing down on me.

"Off. Get off!" I am yelling now, this is actually really frustrating.

I want out. I want out. I want out.

Suddenly I feel his body shaking and heard the repressed sound of sustained laughter. At that moment I knew. I knew he was doing this on purpose. In a rage I started to scratch his chest. Pushing even harder, if I could. Irritating. insufferable.

He grunted in discomfort then finally pushed himself up a bit. I looked at my captors face looking back down at me. He had a grin that stretched from ear to ear. It was so genuine, so innocent, coming from a man like him that I felt my mood change all to quickly. I had to take a moment to look at him. He felt different. Clear. It was a familiar feeling, akin to the ones I felt when I was with my friends. Friends like Tatsuki or... No its more like... Who do you remind me of? I suddenly feel like breaking. I dont think I want to remember.

"Hey woman? Whats wrong with you?"

He sounds oddly concerned. I cant say how that makes me feel or even if its real. He is being weird. I dont want to look at him anymore so I looked some where else. Not really focusing on anything.

I shouldn't be this way. These people took me away. There must be something wrong with me. Well, I guess he isnt these people. He didnt care about me at all. It was Ulquiorra. It was Aizen. It was my fault wasnt it? No...

"Hey... Hey look at me."

Despite myself I found my eyes moving back to his face. He wasn't smiling anymore, he looked confused and a little ashamed. I guess he is thinking I am mad at him. Why should he care I wondered?

I shouldn't have tried to find the answer in his eyes. They look familiar. Who am I seeing?

He sighed, shifting his gaze to my hair. "Your thing is loose."

My 'thing'?

Suddenly I felt him pick something off my hair and hold it up to my face. It was my hair beret. That doesn't get loose though, how did he get it out? They must have let him for some reason.

"See? It wasnt even..."

He stops and smiles again, twisting itt between his thumb and his index finger as it caught the light. My focus shifted back to his eyes and I saw its reflection in them. It looked like a star. That hair beret is the most valuable thing I have. It means the world to me. But I didnt mind him touching it. I wonder why? I have only been around Grimmjow for a little while. I dont really trust him. I am often afraid of him to. But there was more.

"This is a part of you right? Like my Pantera is for me."

I nod my head and continued to watch him quietly.

"How do I put this on you anyway?"

I felt him, in an almost timid way, try to place it back in my hair before he gave up and tried to hand it back to me. I watched as his faced changed from surprise to wonder as it glowed, dissipated from his hands, then latched itself back in my hair tightly.

"Heh, would ya look at that." he said in a wispy way before he frowned as if something smelled wrong. Then he rolled off me and flung himself off the side of the bed. He took one more look at me, with a smile that quickly became condescending, before he walked away without another word. He kicked what was left of the door on his way out, it shattered into bits as it aggressively hit the wall.

Its like some kind of strange little bubble popped and brought the world back into view. And the view was just as ugly and lonely as it was before.

When I finally decided to get up and walk out the room, I was surprised. Ulquiorra was leaning against the wall just outside of it.


	6. Chapter 6

_Oh shit I dun goofed. What do you all want to see happen with Ulquiorra? I didnt develop them enough so feel free to give ideas. Ill write them in for fun maybe._

 _I was listening to 'Everything She Wants' by Wham. LOL the cheese is real._

 **Chapter 9: Element**

I dont really know what to say. He is... just here. What Am I supposed to think?

Ulquiorra.

He is standing there waiting. Why would you? What do you want? He couldn't have meant what he said yesterday. What am I thinking? Of course he did. I do not know how I feel about this.

What do I want?

Could you be why he left?

I am thankful. I thought about him more than I should. In my head I feel I should know him. But when I think about it I begin to feel sick.

 _I don't need to._

I wonder how long Ulquiorra has been here? It is the same as before. Before he saw my true face and...

I want to take him. I want to force him to accept me.

It shouldnt matter. He did it first.

 _Is that all you are?_

Where did this obsession come from? Its gotten bad. Something is wrong with me. I am getting worse.

"Little girl. Come here."

His voice is vexing. It freezes me, cuts through my thoughts and makes them seem pointless. The same as always. Its like I forgot how demanding he is. Like its a surprise. Standing there waiting, telling me what to do, should I listen?

Hahaha... I guess I need to change something. He doesn't know me, not really. I don't think I want to put up the act around him. Its to late.

He probably already thinks I am sick.

"What are you doing? I told you to move."

There is a slight shift in the green of his eyes. Is he getting impatient? I am not... I should listen. His eyes have a magical way about them even though they are lifeless. I stare at them for a moment before I answer.

"No."

It was a quick 'no'. An unexpected no. I thought it would make him react. It didn't, he continued to wait as if he heard nothing at all. How dare he. I moved one step forward. I am not doing what he is asking even if it looks like I am. He isn't moving away, so It doesn't really matter.

I get close. So close enough that my breasts are resting on his chest. They look unseemly pressed up against him like this I note faintly. My gaze locks on with his, determined and dreamlike. Why isnt he doing anything? I am all I am. I can only be myself. He probably dosnt care anyway. I think I want to do something bad.

Would you look at me? After all that fuss I gave last night I am already going back to being less of a person. I cant even imagine why. I must be some kind of coward.

But I do not think that matters either really so I... I am going to do it. Touch him. Right now.

Surprisingly he beats me to it, though not in the way I would like. As I lean forward to taste him his hand quickly pants it on my face. It soft, like cotton. It pushes me back a bit and stays there. His voice is unwavering, even as I begin to lick the palm of his hand. He doesn't really taste like anything unexpected. The flavor is that of skin and flesh. Like my own but a little different. I begin to trace the creases.

"Little girl. You will do as I say. You have no choice."

Its like he doesn't even notice one of his fingers being consumed. I am not normal, I am enjoying even this little bit of his body. The tip of his finger, the hardness of his nail, the feeling of the bones underneath his skin. Why isn't he he be telling me to stop, shouldn't he be leaving? Shouldn't he be running. I want him to do something.

Run away so I can c̖ͫ͗ͣ̓h̿̏̋ͅǎ̷ͫͨ̚s̔͋̋҉̗̬̯̱͉e̢̹̫̱̰̾̇͊̈́́͒̓ you.

He moves his hand to the side of my face. I can feel my saliva running along my cheek the air making the trail cold. Its a slow gentle motion that stops my thoughts. When it moves under my chin he harshly grabs it. Forcing my face up to his. I have no idea what he is thinking but I can feel a chill run up my spin.

"I want to understand you. I want to know you, I want to know what you claimed to be real. Stop wasting my time little girl. You do not have the power to do as you please. I will not be used by you."

He says the word used in a harsh way. It almost scares me. Why would he want to see more of me? He was always like that now that I think about it. A strange man. One who denies everything but still hopes for it. At least... thats is what I believe.

We stay like that for a while, quiet. Uncomfortable.

"It is time you ate." he says breaking the silence before pushing my face away and walking in the direction of the kitchen. He keeps looking forward, not waiting for me to fallow. His confidence that I will run for him boils my blood. But I will fallow him. I will do it.

Because there is something I want. Because I am used to him. Because he and I are going to have a long talk. Our foot steps echo together down the empty dark halls. They make an almost musical rhythm. My heels catch the floor harder than his, he walks like a ghost. He looks like one to with the way his clothing flows delicately behind him. Why am I so fixated on him? This monster who feels so little. This cold monster who took me from the people I love. This monster who left me after I showed just a little of who I really am.

This person who claims he wants to know more.


	7. Chapter 7

_Bet you guys are thinking, wtf man. Why is there barely any Ulquiorra. What can I say? I need to develop some things first. WHOOOPS_

 **Chapter 10: Bind and Blind**

The past week has been frustrating and cruel. Just as before. Mostly, it starts with my basic need to vent something and ends with me arguing with Ulquiorra over emotional things. He likes to do that. He likes to rile me up then takes off without finishing what he started. But, I do not hate him. For some reason I do not hate him. I just want to hurt him.

I know its **wrong**.

Hurting people is wrong.

I wish I could understand these things I feel. Lust, its not something I have ever dived into. I just played with the idea constantly; obsessively. I just want to let go of these feelings... this uncharitable desire that wont bear fruit even after I go crazy enough. Yea, thats right. This place is driving me crazy.

I need someone to talk to. It cant be Ulquiorra. He wants something else. If I do that I cant... So I... I need to get out. I need to get out of this room.

The door is locked. Its always locked. I want out. I want to leave. I need a friend who knows the good and bad. I need a friend who understands what I am. Not like them. I love them. But more like...

I need another monster like me to vent at. I need him for a moment. I need to tell him something. What do I want to say?

Help me.

 _You should just do whatever the fuck you want._

The things he says; they are poisonous.

 _Don't be afraid of who you are._

They are comforting. Full of Understanding.

 _Predator._

Honest. Frightening.

I should just break the door down. I am sure I can.

So I do. It falls to pieces and I walk out.

The air outside of my room felt less stagnate. More open. Who would have thought that just a week of normal confinement that I would be desperate enough to break the door down? Now lets see...

I am used to his energy, so I could always track him.

Grimmjow.

So I ran. I ran down the halls to some unknown location until I came a large court yard. He was lying in the dirt, covered in sweat with an arm draped over his eyes.

I walked up to him, breathing heavy. He was breathing heavy to.

I sat by him, wrapped my arms around my legs, and placed my chin on my drawn up knees.

I wonder what he was doing? Most of the walls near by are in pieces.

Training? Him?

"Hey, when did I start to rely on you?"

He smiles.

"You never relied on me."

I smile back.

"Yes I do."

He snorts.

"No you don't. I just did whatever I wanted, you just happened to be along for the ride."

We sit down quietly for a bit, just looking at nothing. Just thinking before he suddenly draws me into another conversation.

"So, finally decided to come out of your room?"

"Yes..."

"What took you so long?"

"I don't know."

He laughs at me.

"So you are not confused by some morality bullshit again are you?"

I do not answer him.

"Oh come on. I know what your thinking. You need to stop that crap."

"I am scared."

"Scared? Of what?"

"Myself. Of Ulquiorra."

He sighs irritably.

"See, its that morality. You don't need it."

"But I do, I am still human."

He scoffs at me. "Sure you are."

"I am. What would you do to him?"

I ask him that even though I can already guess the answer.

"What do ya mean? That's fucking nasty woman."

I flush thinking about it.

"Not like that. I mean, if you wanted to take out Ulquiorra."

I watch as his tongue runs across his canine, rolling on it while he thinks.

"Well, he would have to get in my way first. But yea, I would have something in mind. Maybe some kind of trap, something humiliating."

I am a little surprised, I thought he always just ran into things.

"A trap? Wouldn't you want to fight him?"

"Not really, he bores the shit out of me. But if I did I would have some kind of plan though."

"What should I do?"

"Don't know, you can probably figure something out. You shouldn't use force, I don't think you can."

He turns over and looks at me like I am some kind of joke. "It would be funny to see you try though."

"I already did."

He laughs at me.

"You did huh? I thought so."

I begin to laugh with him. I know he is laughing at me, but he is contagious.

"Do you think we are friends Grimmjow?" I suddenly ask.

He sits up and adjusts his collar.

"Friends? Why do you ask? You mean like those people you knew back home?"

I think about it.

"No. Not like that."

The smile that reached his eyes was a little off. All his smiles usually are.

"I am a bad influence don't ya think?"

Yea... he is.

He reach's out and grabs a lock of my hair; softly rolling between his fingers.

"Wana know little secret?"

I nod. For some reason a feeling of dread is coming over me.

"You already knew that." He says his voice low, dark. "You were waiting for someone like me."

I felt something brake. Halting, as a strange unknown thread that held something important snapped.


	8. Chapter 8

_Changed the story summary. No real reason why, just the wording has been bugging me. Seemed to comical for a story based around the horror of a sexual predators mentality, other boring things like forbidden fruits, and generic corruption._

 _Sorry for the slow down. I have college finals these next few weeks or so. Ill probably post daily again during summer vacation. It would probably be better for me to write long chapters, but I don't like to do that. Long chapters require filler. I am to lazy to write filler even if it makes a story more coherent. I wont finish the story if each chapter is like 500000 words long._

 _ALSO, I never thanked my readers and reviewers. You guys, I really did not expect anyone to read this let alone like it. I mean, orihime is really, really, really intentionally out of character. So, thumbs up. So for the sake of sanity ill thank you guys here, in a weird italicized authors note._

 _Thanks._

 _Song of the day is 'Girl Loves Me' by David Bowie_

 **Chapter 11: Games**

There are no mirrors here. Isn't that weird? I cant even look at myself. I can't check my hair. I can't see if my lack of sleep is affecting my looks. These things never really mattered to me though. It is just that I want to look at my eyes. I want to see myself. I want to see if I am still me.

Something is different. Usually I reprimand myself for my inner thoughts, lately though they have become a comfort.

 _Who am I?_

I have decided to ignore that question for my own sanity. I just wont think about it anymore.

Ulquiorra replaced my door. He does not lock it anymore. He comes every morning and every night. We talk, if you can consider what we have conversations. Then after he decides he is wasting his time with me and takes off I leave to spend my time wondering the halls.

He should be coming in soon. He is a punctual person.

You see, there is no sense of time here. Not really. I can not tell you what hour of the day it is; or if it is really day. But after a while you get used to a certain way of things. Somehow, Ulqiorra has become my schedule. He is kind of like an internalized clock.

I can in a way feel when he is coming, and that lets me know the time. I wonder what we will talk about today? My heart? His heart? My friends? How I am to be used? How I am useless?

I am tired of it. Everything he says ends in insults. The worst thing though, is probably his curiosity. He has feelings, so real I can almost taste them. They are thick, buried underneath the lifestyle he lives. He knows they are there. He is just begging for someone to prove he is real. I do not know if I want to be the one who does it.

I cant stand him.

Because I do not want to be his friend. I do not want to see him as a person.

I do not want to see anyone as a person anymore.

 _Who am I?_

I do not want to see myself as a person anymore. I do not need to ask myself that question anymore. I need to stop it.

Its to hard.

I hear my door open and he comes in with a plate of food. It is random chopped fruits and vegetables piled up and segregated.

Our eyes meet briefly as we acknowledge each other. No words are exchanged. It wont last, the silence between us never does. It is almost like a challenge

Eventually one of us breaks.

Before that, I think I am going to try something. I always come to him. I wonder - I wonder if I can get him to come to me?

Can I do that? Can I make him do something? Oh, that would be...

The air is now tense, I bet he is expecting me to get up. I know he could feel it even if he appears the same. There is a harshness to his eyes, a type of knowledge he gained from his recent experiences with me. I bet he is expecting me to act rashly.

No, unfortunately for Ulquiorra, I have learned my lesson.

I am going to try different things now. Lets see...

Maybe Ill take a page out of Grimmjows book?

The person who thinks of himself as a king.

I look at Ulqiorra. I think I am viewing him like I own him? You know, I want to try the mentality of owning the world. It helps with confidence.

Then it hits me.

Confidence?

Is that what I lacked?

Confidence.

I see. If I think I rule him then I do. Who is he to tell me otherwise?

"Ulquiorra." I say this with finality, I can feel it. I can see it. His attention. The air is electric. There is power in knowing someones name. Why havent I ever noticed that.

I guess that means I lost the quiet game. Whatever.

To bad the only reaction I get is a blank stare. At least blink...

I hold a hand out. If I think he will come for it then he will right?

He doesn't even glance at my hand. His eyes never leaving my own.

We continue this strange stalemate.

This is exhausting. But I wont let him win. Not this time.

"Ulquiorra, come here."

I swear I saw him twitch. It was just a little.

What would Grimmjow do after this?

Oh, he would mock him.

"Are you afraid of me Ulquiorra?"

And now he is moving. Its really working? I am thrilled. He is coming to me. Seriously?

Each step he takes makes a soft 'click' on the floor as he moves. They fill me with... he is right in front of me. I really made him move... That's just...

He slowly leans in close and examines me. Is he breathing? Does he ever breathe?

Am I breathing?

"I know what you're doing."

He says this in such an empty way, it felt condescending. Words really have power. I suddenly feel angry.

He then backs away and leaves me without a second glance. When the door closes behind him I realize that I lost.

I pick up my food tray and aggressively throw it at the door; bits of food fly everywhere as the tray hits it with a loud metallic 'clank'


	9. Chapter 9

_A friend of mine glanced over this recently and told me to stop being a lazy mother fucker. Well. to bad man. Hardly anyone is gunna read most of this crap even if I did a good job lol._

 _I can not remember shit about Szayelaporra's personality. So, he might be a little different. I have a foggy idea. So thats what your going to get lol. TO lazy for research. Uhh, he is important for the plan. Sorry if you dont like chapters with him but he needs to be developed._

 _Song of the day is 'Keep Your Eyes Peeled_ _' by Queens of the Stone Age_

 **Chapter 12: The Good Doctor**

The lights that illuminate the halls here are dim. I cannot really tell you what color they cast, but I can say that they help only to accentuate the monochromatic feel of the world of which they are born from. It is like a purgatory, a place that slowly eats away at your senses.

There are windows tracing the shape of the hall; strait and perfect. They have a type of draw to them. They seem to call to me. They whisper a promise freedom, familiarity, and of course disappointment. I already know whats on the other side of them. An endless expanse of nothing. It's almost beautiful.

But I will ignore them today, I want to wander closer to something. Closer to something that has recently captured my curiosity in this seemingly soundless palace. I noticed an odd feeling of being watched whenever I come near this place.

So I walk in and explore the expanse of the unknown area till I hear a strange sound.

There is a faint scratching coming from somewhere down below. A feeling shook through me like a warning. A chafing underneath my skin as I stare at the floor beneath me. Then there is a loud bang. So loud it makes me jump a little.

Its ominous and shakes the floor beneath me.

Bang.

Its getting closer, whatever it is. I cant think; my chest is constricting.

Bang.

I can smell something wrong tracing the air. Swirling. So faint, it is so faint. The smell of something rotting.

A twisted breath sounds from the vents near by. Choking and painful. It could just be the air though. It should be.

Bang.

The floor looks like its rising. As if it is alive and breathing. Something is right under me.

Bang. Bang. Bang. BANG! BANG!

Then suddenly... it stops. It is if there was nothing there at all. I do not feel safe. I have never explored this part of Los Nochas. This building always felt ominous.

What was that? Should I search for it?

No.

"Tsk."

I gasp and quickly turn around to the sound. My hair whips and blurs past me, bits of it fall in front of my eyes as it settles. In front of me stood one of the Espada. I recognize him from the meeting. The one with pink hair and glasses. I do not know his name. He wasn't really looking at me, his eyes were dimmed but sharp. He seemed a little empty to me somehow.

"Hello..."

I say a bit to quietly. His eyes quickly snap down to mine. He is assessing me, I can not get a read on his expression. It is very guarded but contains no fear. I can feel something ticking away. A sound resembling deaths call.

"You." He says finally. His voice is very cultured and decisively calm. The tone is somehow demeaning. Almost disgusted. "How did you get in here?"

I open my mouth to answer only to have him hold up a hand. Silencing any reply. A short crude laugh escapes him before he continues. His hip sways a bit as he places a hand on it. The pose he takes is haughty and impatient before he says, "Nevermind, I have ceased to care. Out. Just walk yourself out the way you came and do not come back pest."

Then he walks away and waves his hand dismissively at me as he pass's.

I watch him walk. A little confused. A little curious.

"What is your name." I find my self asking.

He continues to walk.

I begin to move toward him. You could call me stupid. Its just that his attitude leaves a familiar taste in my mouth. It is bitter and foul.

I do not like being ignored.

My foot steps mingle with his as he continues to walk. Eventually he sighs turning to me, a hand of his elegantly places itself on his forehead in a show of irritation and Impatience.

"You foolish little toy. I told you to get out. Leave me alone."

I look up at him, my feelings of fear from before smothered.

"Could you tell me your name?" I ask persistently.

His lips turn in disgust before he laughs again.

"Curious are you? Why do you need to know?"

"I don't, I just..."

"Then why do you ask?"

"Because I wanted to."

His face turns into an expression that makes a mockery of smiling with the hand on his forehead lowering to his glass's as he pushes them up. I smell something floral in the air now.

Then the floor below suddenly makes that scratching sound again. The sound is stronger than before and getting increasingly frantic. Its now everywhere, in the ceiling, in the walls. It feels like its in my bones.

"Do you now? And who are you to demand anything of me. To want to know anything about me? Do I look like those idiots you play with?"

I have heard lines like these before. These Espada are oddly similar in there thought process's. Idiots? I can guess who he means.

I must look surprised to him because he laughs lightly, the smile on his face getting darker as he seems more entertained. The scratching is distracting. Can't he hear it to?

"All I did was ask for your name."

My voice is more shaky then I wanted it to be. It must be the noise. The smell is getting stronger to. I am starting to feel sick.

"So you did." He says this in a bored tone. "And I asked you to leave. You did not listen did you?"

"I will."

"Yes. You will."

The world suddenly gets wobbly, why am I so dizzy? The scratching is becoming painful. I place my hands on my ears in an effort to muffle them.

"Doing that will not help you." He says this as if I am funny. Like I am laughable.

"Am I going to die?" I ask.

I cant. I need to get away.

"No. You are going to leave obviously. I recommend you do not come back. I will not be so forgiving to a lesser being such as you the next time you walk down my halls. Who knows what might happen if the mood strikes me hmmm?" he says gently with a bit of a tired edge churning behind each word.

Then I felt something wrap around me. It felt like a hand with long fingers. Fingers that are unnatural and have far to many joints.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Take that thing away. Toss it out. I need to finish this without that things smell distracting it." He orders whatever was holding me dismissively.

My eyes are heavy, my body is suddenly relaxing in the strange grip that is wrapped around me. The world is becoming fuzzy, the Espada in front of me is nothing more than a pink and white blur at this point. I can hear his foot steps as he draws away. They echo far louder than they should.

It's almost painful.

The thing that holds me drags me further and further away. The constant scratching turning every sound into white noise.

Eventually, all of it fades away into a blank white canvas as my consciousness disappears.

I do not know how long I was out.

* * *

"Hey. Get up woman."

I bolt up at the familiar sound, and hit my head on something hard. There is a sudden gasp of pain that accompanies my own after the impact. I open my eyes and the world slowly clears into view. Grimmjow is sitting near me his eyes squinting and irritated.

"Grimmjow?"

"Hey." He answers.

Something stinks. I am wet for some reason.

I look down to find my clothing covered in some dark black muck. It smells like blood. I feel sick.

"Whats going on? What happened?"

Grimmjow crosses his legs then rests his chin on his hand before answering me.

"It didn't drop you when I asked. So I killed it."

"You killed it? What?"

"One of Szayelaporro's 'things'."

"Szayelaporro?"

His face shifts in confusion before he answers.

"The octava espada."

Sayzelaporro. That must be who he was.


	10. Chapter 10

_I got a message asking me where this story is going. I am not exactly sure how to answer it but I will try. I mean, I have a weird writing style. I know where I am going but I like making stories seem pretty aimless. I do not want whats going on to be predictable._

 _If any one has any questions for me let me know. Ill answer them the best I can._

 _HEY I noticed I got some new friends. YOU. Yes you lovely viewers who liked, commented, or just continue to read this pile of junk; thank you for being beautiful._

 _Really, all of you are a very unexpected happy surprise. I cant promise to hold your interest but... I hope you can enjoy your stay until you check out lol._

 _Skip this if your not reading for Grimmjow friendship bonding._ (Next chapter will be an Ulquiorra chapter.)

 _Song of the day is 'Kalospia' by Queens of The Stone Age. Because It made more sense... sigh... this band... to many good songs._

 **Chapter 13: Simple**

I feel drowsy, I still can't think very strait. The black 'blood' - at least, that's what I think it is - is really thick. It feels like a gel. When I press down on my dress it makes a churning squishing sound. My eyes slowly move to my left fallowing the dark stain on my body to find a large burn running along the ground ending on the wall. There is a large singed splatter there.

I examine the twisted and mangled black smear; morbidly curious about it. Carefully I move and push myself up. I stumble a little but quickly regain my balance before I start dragging my feet across the sand. I notice during my walk across the mess that the sand has hardened where the attack hit. I cant imagine how hot it was to have that result. I wonder faintly how I remain uninjured. But only for a moment.

When I finally reach my destination I am able to see the mark in detail.

The large stain has a violent and gruesome edge to it. There is an unusual shape to it. Though I suppose if the 'thing' Grimmjow killed was a type of hollow it wouldn't be all that strange. It gives me an idea what the body once looked like. I trace the shape with my eyes, usually I would feel sad when viewing something related to death. I know I would. I am a good person. Because hollows are just people like my brother was. I care right?

I do. I really do.

But I feel nothing.

Why? Because I didn't know it? That's a good reason right? I don't want it to be.

But I feel nothing.

My thoughts are suddenly interrupted by Grimmjow. His voice is right behind me. He is close, I can feel his body heat.

"What are you thinking about?"

I lift my hands and trace them along the bone like shape on the wall. Along the eyes of the creature, the nose, its neck. I take longer to answer than I should. My reply is reluctant. Grimmjow takes the time to move beside me. He leans over a bit and glances at the wall before turning to look at me.

"I don't know."

He smirks.

"You don't know huh?"

I return the question.

"Well, what are you thinking about?"

He responds lightly... coolly, his voice like a purr.

"Nothing."

"Really?"

He then walks in front of me, each step is measured. Its almost delicate the way he moves. Meticulous. I can't see it anymore now - that stain. Only his smile, his face a bit snide or maybe just playful. His hands are in his pockets, his body language is lazy.

Eventually he says with a shrug of his shoulders, "Sure. Why not?"

I do not know what he is expecting me to do right now. So I just stare at him, studying him the same way I studied the mark on the wall. When my eyes meet his I can see the expression he has fall into something different. It becomes more Confused and disjointed as I reach out and trace his jaw with the end of my finger. He blinks slowly as I rest the palm of my hand over his cheek. Its warm. It really is.

I can't really explain why I am doing this. I don't really mean anything by it.

You know... It's like I am infected. Can a poison be addictive? Maybe I am just unhinged and letting go.

But regardless of what I think, I am not coming on to him.

No.

I am just feeling him. Because I want to feel something. Yes, I feel for him. I know I value him. He is a friend who accepts me. I do not need to hide anything from him. I understand. Looking at him, I know what I see now. It's not that you were familiar. No. It's not that you remind me of anyone. No.

I can feel myself smiling, not at him. But at a realization. Its like a set of facts you know but don't understand, but once you do though it hits you. It's obvious if I really think about it.

I shake my head feeling really light, it's so sudden that I laugh a little. He smiles back and leans into my hand. So slight it felt like an accident.

"What are you thinking about?" He asks. This time a little soft... at least for him.

I respond quietly, but I know he can hear it.

"Nothing."

He 'tsk's' playfully.

"Really?"

I lean in quickly and hug him close. His body goes so stiff its like hugging stone. But, I don't care. Because I always wanted to meet someone like him. Someone who sees me. I think I always dreamed somewhere deep inside that I would be accepted. But even when It was right in front of me I didn't really think about it.

Eventually, his body loosens up but remains unchanged.

"Hey, what are you thinking about?" He says again. This time in a whisper.

I look up at his face from his chest. Answering with a question.

"Hey Grimmjow?"

His eye lids fall a bit, he looks strange like this. I cant really describe it... its just a funny look on him.

"Hmm?"

"What do I look like to you?"

He smiles softly and says this like its the most obvious thing in the world.

"You look like an idiot."

I let go to push him playfully; he lets himself fall back into the stained wall and leans into it. That same funny smile still plastered on his face.

Suddenly my stomach lurches in hunger, growling loudly. I flush a bit before saying "I need to go back to my room."

So I turn around to leave, quickly walking away. He flashes right in front of me before I get to far.

"Hey." he says.

I stop and stare at him. Surprised.

"You look like you." He continues.

And there it is. My answer. I reach out and poke his chest tracing my finger down it then pulling it away.

"You look like an idiot."

His eyes glint and responds with, "Yea, I am. So let me walk you to your room. Not that I'm asking. "

"I know."

Its nice. So nice it hurts a little. This is just a fantasy, I can feel it. An eventual change is coming.


	11. Chapter 11

_More readers? HOW. It has to be impossible for a sane person to read this. Get outa here... GET OUTA HERE!_

 _Anyway, Welcome and I hope you enjoy your stay in my insane little world lol. Chapter is short. This story is going to have a very long long hiatus after this. Maybe forever oh no. Probably gunna update after I finish bleach again._

 **Chapter 14: Demi**

That thing that dragged me out of Szayelaporro's building took me somewhere distant. I was a long ways from my room . I guess it was trying to get me as far away from that place as possible. I have no idea why.

... I can still see the building in the distance. It has a strange pull to it. Most would just glance over it, I guess it could be because of how its nestled so close to the others. It looks common. There seems to be nothing special about it. I have been here for a long time now, and yet I have never really thought to explore it.

Something about it makes you think its nothing.

It could be any number of things. Mostly its just the fact that it looks like any other. But still, once you feel it. Really feel it. It has a pull. An energy.

And once I stepped inside I knew.. there is something wrong with that building.

* * *

I found myself stumbling a little as Grimmjow suddenly grabbed the back of my collar.

"So why are we going to your room anyway? I can get you some food if your really hungry."

Why? Because...

"Ulquiorra will be there."

Grimmjows face seems to cringe a bit after hearing my response.

"Ulquiorra huh. You really think he is going to be there, you might just find a rancid plate of cold something left for you there."

I think about it. Maybe. But I doubt it, because I know Ulquiorra. He will be there. So I shake my head and continue to walk.

The fallowing silence is deafening. I wonder why? Where is this awkward feeling is coming from? And then, he laughs.

"Well, I guess we all have something don't we?"


	12. Chapter 12

_Sigh, I probably should have edited that last chapter before posting it. What happened was that I went on a hiatus a while ago but wasn't going to start it till I finished ch 14 well... its technically ch 11._ _Anyway. I never got around to finishing it thats why even though it was supposed to be an Ulquiorra chapter it ended strangely. But I thought I should post it anyway. So yea. No Hiatus._

 _Sorry for that. A very specific sorry to Niisama. Ur still around dude. NO WAY lol._

 _Also. Readers? Still? Fucking how. You guys blow my mind. Also WHOA dude. **One Jack-o:** This story was actually originally going to be an Aizen x Orihime. But then I saw there weren't enough Ulquiorra x Orihime stories. I mean there were but they sucked imo. Its like the otp of my life._

 _I will eventually be writing an AizenXhime one where he stars as a homeless guy she picks off the street. This one will be a thriller/psychological in the third person... maybe third person. But not yet. I got like 10000000000000 other incomplete stories to finish first. XD._

 _Anyway on to that Ulquiorra ch. I promised so long ago. Sorry for any grammar errors, ill fix them later, feel free to point them out. AS OF NOW MOSTLY FIXED._

 _Song I listened to was: Im So Sick by Feyleaf_

* * *

 **Chapter 15: Sewing**

Gimmjow had left me after we neared my room. One moment he was here and the next all that was left was a breeze. It was sudden but not unusual. Because I knew that He hated Ulquiorra.

He hated each of the Espada. Every single one. A lot of our conversations were filled with the various reasons why.

As I walked up to my door I felt a chill run down my spine. Ulquiorra's energy flowed from the other side. It wasn't angry, it didn't feel like anything at all. It just acknowledged that I was near.

The door wasn't shut all the way. It was slightly open but not enough to look through. A dim light slightly shined through it. The light was a pale yellow luminescence.

I gently placed my hand on the doors surface. With only a little pressure it voicelessly moved forward spilling out the light from within. Along with the light was a dark shadow that stretched forward and ended at the tips of my boots.

Slowly I fallowed the black mass up to the body that cast it. Ulquiorra stood there at the end of the room and seemed to ignore me. But I knew he was aware of me. Well, if he was going to choose to pretend not to know I was there then I would let him.

I lifted a hand up and dragged it down the center of his back before I moved it over his shoulder. After this I flattened myself against his back. I wonder how long he waited here.

His body was so stiff and cold, he almost didn't seem alive. I moved my other arm around his waist and let my finger tips gracefully fall over his stomach. I couldn't even tell if he was breathing. Even with my body this close.

But still.

I was intoxicated. I haven't gotten this close in a long time. A lot of ideas ran through my mind, born from something dark and hidden within my imagination. I traced a finger along the line of his coats zipper. My nail made a small, almost rhythmical noise, as I made my way up its teeth.

I was going to pull it down. I guess you could say I move quickly or something like that but, mostly it was just impatience. A loss of restriction. I just cant seem to drag out my morality anymore.

I managed to zip it down a little, about halfway before he finally moved to stopped me.

A large hand circled around the my own. It clenched down forcing it away. Then he twisted me around before he tossed me. It wasn't really violent. His motions were quick and efficient. They always had been.

I landed on my bed. My body bounced up a bit before settling down loosely. I took a moment to look at the ceiling before I sighed and pushed myself. After this I gazed around my room.

To be honest; I had expected Ulquiorra to be gone. But instead I found him at a food food cart in the corner. I watched as he reached into a bowl and took out a piece of sliced fruit. It resembled a peach. Its syrup ran along the length of the finger and thumb that held it. It looked sticky.

"You have not eaten yet. Do I need to warn you about your health?"

There was something sinister in it, though his tone remained level and listless. I suppose if it comes to my health he is capable of some base emotion. A useless and shallow emotion.

Still, something like me shouldn't have the right to judge emotions like that. Because the things I want are shallow, base, and instinctual as well.

His index finger pierced the fruit with its nail. The fruit fell apart, to soft and not sound enough to take the pressure. The pieces made a wet sound as they slide down and splashed back into the syrup.

He finally turned and looked at me. I looked back and saw absolutely nothing as I gazed into his eyes. No light, no anger, just nothing. I moved away from those eyes down his long white neck to his half exposed chest and shivered.

Then in a blink of an eye he was in front of me. I made an attempt to look back at his face, but I was shoved down instead by his hands. It was painful. I almost cried out at the pressure his hands put on me.

"What are you doing?" I asked enraged.

"Nothing." He answered emotionless.

I grabbed the slits of his coats open zipper and pulled myself up.

"Whats wrong with you?" I asked.

He gazed into my eyes unblinking and said, "If I killed everyone you have ever known would you cry."

I froze again, It always came down to this. He had this need to see something. To find something. But I have nothing to give him. I never will.

"You know the answer to that." I responded.

He moved a hand to my hair, delicately touching its tips at first before tugging it hard enough that I thought he was going to pull it out.

"If I inflicted pain on you till you broke would you still be human or just an empty shell?"

"What are you saying?"

My voice came out a little jagged, I was suddenly afraid. Ulquiorra never asked questions he didn't want the answer to. Because of this I became afraid of what that question might mean.

Then suddenly his hand loosened a bit before it tugged me back down on the bed. He leaned down and took a breath. It came out warm. Its heat contrasted his slow - calculated - tone.

"If I gave into you would you lose yourself?"

He then quickly pulled away from me and stood over the edge of the bed looking down on me. Something about his stance made him seem superior.

This, all of this, enraged me. I balled my hands into fists and gazed back at him defiantly; erasing all fear from my eyes.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"Whats wrong with you?" I returned.

Something dark flashed across his face. I had never seen that before. He then answered me.

"Everything I had seen, every moment I took the time to watch you, every argument before that day. It was not a lie."

He then reached forward and gripped my shirt above my heart. A bit of it was tearing through his fingers.

"I will not be your tool. You will not be my tool. You belong to Aizen. But... that thing you used to preach was real. At least that is what you seemed to believe. That thing you said belonged to no one. Your disgusting sermons. I..."

He stopped. What he was going to say seemed to make him lose his thought process as I watched him move away and walk to the doorway. He stopped at its entrance then turned a bit to say, "Tomorrow we have a meeting with Aizen, you will be here when I come to get you."

There was a finality to his exit. But all I could do was feel something painful try to break through, something digging underneath my soul. Burrowing a hole in my chest.

"... I dont know who I am..."

I began to cry, really cry.

I wish I had it in me to hate you.

* * *

 _Sorry if this chapter is kinda like others. I am just trying to get back into the groove so yep. Seeya my cute lil bunnies._


	13. Chapter 13

_Previous chapter looked aweful. Just fixed it. Do not. I repeat. Do not ever post a chapter wrote while drunk lol. Anyway, events in this story will differ greatly from the show. I never got around to watching it so I am just here to say fuck it._

 _this story is, if it wasn't obvious already, a psychological/horror/romance_

 _To any new readers. WELCOME._

 _Song that inspired this chapter: Terrible Lie by NIN_

 **Chapter 16: Mindful**

When I woke today I felt a little different. A little strange. I felt like my chest was bleeding out. Like someone ground it up raw. It was painful. I think that this feeling was always there. I must have numbed it somehow. I must have been covering it up.

I should take the time to think about it. I wont though.

I placed my hand on the center of my chest then I looked back at it. For whatever reason I expected it to be covered in blood. But, of course it isn't.

Its all in my head. I need to stop letting this place get to me. I need to reinforce myself.

 _Who am I?_

It hurts. I have been doing a lot of things I would never do before. But, somewhere in the back of my mind excuses form.

Justifications.

 _ **Have I really done anything wrong?**_

No, I couldn't have.

Those righteous thoughts. That reasoning. My own fabricated form of kindness. Its all being suffocated by another part of myself. I wont let it make me suffer. Ill bury it.

Ill bury it.

He has no right to ask for it. No right. Why is he doing this.

Then it hit me. He wants it. He wants me to feel. He wants to feel. He is using me for some kind of self satisfaction. Just like I am trying to use him.

I refuse. I wont do it. I wont do it for him.

Its hurting again.

In an attempt to soothe it I close my eyes and take a deep breathe. Those thoughts are getting locked away as something darker takes their place. Something imaginative. The thing I was from the beginning.

The monster that I am.

Monster.

I start to laugh gently. A small giggle.

Yes. I see. To think the word that used to hurt me the most is now becoming a comfort. Grimmjow was right.

Acceptance is the best answer. The only answer.

But, I can feel it still. That compassionate person inside me is crying. Telling me I should shrink back. Telling me to be better.

What use would that person be in a place like this? Besides, its not like I hadn't always wanted these things.I have always been obsessive with sex. That forbidden act that I denied myself for that good person I thought I had to be. Out of fear. Out of love.

The door to my room makes a sudden sound as it opens. I turn my head and watch its slow and even moment. Eventually Ulquiorra appears. And I... I let myself smile.

It must be time for me to go.

 **Chapter 17: Curse**

Each step we took seemed to speak in a simple - rhythmic language. His sound was brisk and perfect. My sound was heavy, it contrasted nicely. I distracted myself with this sound. Because if I looked at him I might hurt him. And that would be absolutely wonderful.

Its just... I just... We are alone in these halls.

All alone. But so easy to expose. Any of the doors in these halls could open. Anyone could be walking around corners ahead.

These things that should deter me are exciting me.

I find myself breaking into a smile, my hands shaking. I am crazy. But, I do not care. Not anymore. I will not care.

I reach out suddenly with strength that I didn't think I had. His body jolts, his eyes widen a bit. I wonder if the shock of my sudden attack that is letting me move him where I want him as I slam his body into the nearest wall. His head hits it violently and makes a satisfying sound. His face shows no signs of pain though. As always, there is nothing.

Respond to me.

I place a hand on top of his shoulders and squeeze them as hard as I can. Digging as deep as I can. I do not know why he hasn't moved yet. I look up at him, he is watching. Waiting.

Analyzing me again.

This enraged me. In retaliation I leaned in and bite hard on his collar bone. He twitch's but refuses to move. So I bite harder. I can feel his skin breaking, blood spilling. I dig deeper in with my teeth upon feeling the warm fluid seep out.

After a moment longer he grunts and pulls me away. I can feel his blood trailing down from my lips and drip off my chin. It tastes metallic.

He then lets go and continues walking forward, when I make no move to fallow he stops and looks back at me.

"Lord Aizen is waiting."

I start to fallow him again. This is the first time I have ever tasted someones blood. I look up at the red stain on his jacket. It was so pristine before.

I do not feel guilty. No. Instead I find pleasure in it. I stained him.

I want to ruin him even more.

And the more I think this, the more the idea controls me. My pain, its subsiding.


End file.
